So let's get married and make some people more than equal

Because of a lack of anything better to do last night, I went over to Mark's and got drunk. In case you had ever wondered, kids, if you give me my own bottle of wine I will feel morally obligated to drink the whole thing. I haven't been this drunk on wine since the infamous 'jacopo the maggot and jesse nose touching' evening. In fact, I dont think I've had that much to drink since then, period.

I've noticed a funny thing that happens only when I drink wine. That funny thing is that I have this terrible urge to kiss people. I don't, usually, follow through, but I do tend to feel like it.

In other highly amusing news, today in the mail I recieved a bag full of condoms from "The Gratis Company." Like, a large amount of them, in various colors and flavors and scents with various knobs and ridges and suchlike. I don't have a clue why they came to my house. Is the universe trying to tell me something? In honor of this event, I've been wearing my Playboy shirt since I got home from work.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July gathering. I have no idea what this is going to be like. I hope everything will be ok. At least there will be food. Deviled eggs are coming here, after all. Yum. I would admit a tribe of axe murderers into my home if they came bearing deviled eggs.

I think I'm going to try and give myself a haircut tonight. I mean, you know...why not? The worst that can happen is I'll finally end up bald.