silverfae9 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silverfae9) wrote2002-03-23 09:45 pm
silverfae9) wrote2002-03-23 09:45 pm
Princess Samantha
Tonight a scary Spanish man informed me that he knew now that the reason he was sent back from heaven was to make princesses like me smile and glow. He also told me that even though he had no sense of smell or taste, he was going to buy lots of perfume from me because it made me keep smiling. He asked if I was married, and said that my boyfriend was a very lucky man to be dating a princess like me. Once I washed my hands, I informed Pete of this, and he laughed and said that he felt priviledged. I just don't think he grasps how very special he is.
I thought for a while that I had lost my auglink password and wouldnt be able to check my email. This made me very, very sad.
Yes, I -do- realize that I talk about Pete a lot. But well...duh. He's the most interesting part of my life, and if I don't get to talk -to- him, I should at least get to talk -about- him. The band has a show tonight, and it's very, very strange that Vascular is playing and I'm not there. This is only like the 3rd show I've missed in nine months. This is probably their last show at Mad Hatters, which means I may never see the place again. No, I don't know if I'm upset about that. But it's just...weird. All this change is tough to handle, I guess.
Last night, I spent a little more time thinking about Nate. And then I spent a lot of time thinking about Jon. I wonder if he knows how much he's influenced my entire life for the past several years. He was always the standard, the form of person that I held everyone up to, and usually found them all lacking. Even now, I still sleep with the plush monkey he gave me, the one that's wearing his shirt. I spent all of last year writing him one long letter in a spiral notebook that I never sent to him. Maybe someday I will. I wonder how different my life would be if we had been able to exist together. I don't still hold out the hope that there's a fairy tale wedding in my future, because I hope that there's more in store for him. He's brilliant; more talented than I could ever say. Even though we dont talk much anymore, I still hold conversations with him in my brain. It's funny, because in the love story that I wrote, you can see traits of the four significant men in my life: Nate, Eric, Jon, and Pete. Even though we've drifted, I still plan on getting a daisy tattoo in honor of everything Jon's done for me. There are some people that it's just worth it to keep constant memories of around.
I thought for a while that I had lost my auglink password and wouldnt be able to check my email. This made me very, very sad.
Yes, I -do- realize that I talk about Pete a lot. But well...duh. He's the most interesting part of my life, and if I don't get to talk -to- him, I should at least get to talk -about- him. The band has a show tonight, and it's very, very strange that Vascular is playing and I'm not there. This is only like the 3rd show I've missed in nine months. This is probably their last show at Mad Hatters, which means I may never see the place again. No, I don't know if I'm upset about that. But it's just...weird. All this change is tough to handle, I guess.
Last night, I spent a little more time thinking about Nate. And then I spent a lot of time thinking about Jon. I wonder if he knows how much he's influenced my entire life for the past several years. He was always the standard, the form of person that I held everyone up to, and usually found them all lacking. Even now, I still sleep with the plush monkey he gave me, the one that's wearing his shirt. I spent all of last year writing him one long letter in a spiral notebook that I never sent to him. Maybe someday I will. I wonder how different my life would be if we had been able to exist together. I don't still hold out the hope that there's a fairy tale wedding in my future, because I hope that there's more in store for him. He's brilliant; more talented than I could ever say. Even though we dont talk much anymore, I still hold conversations with him in my brain. It's funny, because in the love story that I wrote, you can see traits of the four significant men in my life: Nate, Eric, Jon, and Pete. Even though we've drifted, I still plan on getting a daisy tattoo in honor of everything Jon's done for me. There are some people that it's just worth it to keep constant memories of around.
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