If I could stay here under your idle caress

[silverfae9]

Letter from Val today. She sent along a highly entertaining postcard, so un-British.

Occasionally I get this eerie feeling that Val and I are having mirror images of the same experience. She's becoming increasingly disenchanted with academia and I'm becoming increasingly dependant on it, and I think that if we could just get together and compare notes we'd probably say the hell with it all and move to Barbados. I don't know that either of us are on the road to accomplishing the goals we set out on these adventures to accomplish, and I don't know if that's a bad thing.

I don't know if there will be a wedding next summer in England. I can't really comment much on that, though, without sounding, um, evil. I love Jude, I really do. But Val is special.

But anyway, Val's letter just reinforces the fact that all I've been doing for the last 5 months is spinning my wheels. Someone, please justify my existance for me, because I seem to be unable to figure it out.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Everyone is here for some purpose.

Sometimes it's a major purpose in and of itself, and sometimes you're just the person that influences some other person to get off their ass and fulfill their purpose, but there's always a purpose.

That's really why suicides are depressing and most people don't feel too bad when older people die. Obviously no one *wants* the old people to die, but for the most part they've had a good run, done what they needed to, and it's time to move on.

Everyone has some form of potential to them. From reading earlier posts, it sounds like you've got a knack for making people see some other picture. Maybe that's not particularly glamourous, but it's possibly what you're supposed to be doing.

And it's entirely possible that I'm just completely full of crap. If I had anything particularly relevant to say I'd probably be starting my own blog instead of popping in as an uninvited guest of other peoples'.

SFG

[silverfae9]

I should think that after reading this you'd see that you don't need something relevant to say to write in a blog...

[(Anonymous)]

What are you talking about? You're frequently fairly random, but just as frequently you have something to say that makes me think - out of all the blogs I've randomly hit in my day, you're one of the very few that I come back to with any regularity.

And there's really something to be said for being random - I think I'd feel some sort of intrinsic obligation to be thought provoking and literate all the time, and that'd take the fun out of it.

SFG

[silverfae9]

I think that if I was capable of being literate and thought-provoking all the time at 21, I'd be an insufferable bore.

Your reaction to this intrigues me, though. As far as I know the only other people that read this are ones that I know, that are familiar with the samantha on the other side of the journal. (The one that is, I fear, less interesting.) But I think a great idea would be to tell your friends. I've always wanted a following, and this could be one in which samantha makes everyone feel better about their own neuroses by detailing, with alarmingly increasing frequency, her own.

Alternately, I also suggest you randomly stop by Jeff's. He doesn't say much unless he has something to say, and so when he does he tends to actually get the point that I try for in my more frequent rambles. This quality is part of the reason I developed such a crush on him originally (aside from the fact that he's, uh, hot) and why I'm still constantly making him tell me stories.