Turrets

They tell you when you get your ears pierced that if you don't wear earrings, your holes will close up.
They're a bunch of liars.
I haven't worn earrings since somewhere in 1995, but just discovered that I can still get earrings through at least two of my five holes. I'll pay for this, though. The holes are already irritated, and I'm remembering why I haven't worn earrings since 1995.
Sometimes, I think I do too much for my customers.

Spinning

Had a letter from Val today in which she proves me yet again to be a brilliant judge of character. She's broken up with Jude after, you know, tasting other fruits, and I say huzzah for her.
I am, of course, profoundly opposed to infidelity in general. But in this specific case, I have to say that it was the only way things could have happened. Besides, she's upset enough over it that what kind of friend would I be if I were upset with her too? I'm not here to judge. That's what people like Jesse are for.
Val's a prodigy (not pronounced 'progidy') but she's short on real experience.
Plus, her new man wrote me a poem, a not too bad one, about how much he likes Val and about how cool she says I am, so thumbs up for that. If he starts writing me letters, I might have to hie me to England and steal him away. (That's actually a big lie, but we all know how much I like letters.)
Now I have to figure out a new excuse for visiting England.

On the bus tonight I heard a soft thump from the right side. I was sitting near the front of the bus and so I could hear it, although those further along could not. "Did you know that it's illegal in the state of Washington to run over a traffic cone?" "No. Just doing your part, are you?" "Well, yeah. But that one was a little flat...I think someone else might have gotten there first."