Murder for Turkeys
Nov. 26th, 2003 11:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silverfae9So let's talk about Thanksgiving.
When I was very small, Thanksgiving was the holiday I looked foreward to, more even than Christmas. We'd gather at my nan's around a mostly-cooked turkey and a boatload of ziti, and it was the one time every year that no one was being crazy and hating each other: no one was strung out, no one was accusing anyone else of trying to send them to jail. There were less spouses back then, less children, less water under the bridge.
It stayed like that for years, as children increased and stray friends were brought in. Christmas was a free-for-all, it was for in-laws. Thanksgiving was our holiday and nearly half a hundred people would come in and out of whichever house was hosting. Slowly, a few years ago, things started to fall apart. Everyone had other things to do and we started to get distant and crazy the way most families do.
Last year, I guess, was the first year it all stopped. It was the first time everyone stopped pretending for Thanksgiving and just kept on being themselves, just like they are the rest of the year.
I'm a girl that's fond of traditions. As the family traditions of my youth have faded, I've made my own: pumpkin carving, hand turkeys, and now creating my own Christmas tree. They feel sort of hollow, my traditions, because I'm the only one who follows them, but I need them. They keep me tethered.
I feel like I'm missing my point. It's been a tough day; I had both the 'what do you think of my husband' and 'what do you think of me becoming a Jehovah's Witness' discussions with my mother. They'll be going to Canada tomorrow and I'll be staying here, to visit with Carrie and Nicole, maybe, and to try and relocate Thanksgiving's magic. I'm low, and could use some company, but it's one of life's greatest ironies that the times you feel most lonely are the times you most need to be alone, so maybe it's ok that I live by myself. I miss everyone in St. Augustine most keenly and also most keenly feel the fact that most of the time they don't even remember me.
I used to send emails every Thanksgiving telling the people in my life why I'm thankful for them in their own individual ways, but I just don't have it together enough tonight to do that. Maybe my point tonight is simply that although I am sad and sentimental and feeling that life has lost its sparkle, what's really important is that I love each of you and am thankful for you, each in your own individual ways.
When I was very small, Thanksgiving was the holiday I looked foreward to, more even than Christmas. We'd gather at my nan's around a mostly-cooked turkey and a boatload of ziti, and it was the one time every year that no one was being crazy and hating each other: no one was strung out, no one was accusing anyone else of trying to send them to jail. There were less spouses back then, less children, less water under the bridge.
It stayed like that for years, as children increased and stray friends were brought in. Christmas was a free-for-all, it was for in-laws. Thanksgiving was our holiday and nearly half a hundred people would come in and out of whichever house was hosting. Slowly, a few years ago, things started to fall apart. Everyone had other things to do and we started to get distant and crazy the way most families do.
Last year, I guess, was the first year it all stopped. It was the first time everyone stopped pretending for Thanksgiving and just kept on being themselves, just like they are the rest of the year.
I'm a girl that's fond of traditions. As the family traditions of my youth have faded, I've made my own: pumpkin carving, hand turkeys, and now creating my own Christmas tree. They feel sort of hollow, my traditions, because I'm the only one who follows them, but I need them. They keep me tethered.
I feel like I'm missing my point. It's been a tough day; I had both the 'what do you think of my husband' and 'what do you think of me becoming a Jehovah's Witness' discussions with my mother. They'll be going to Canada tomorrow and I'll be staying here, to visit with Carrie and Nicole, maybe, and to try and relocate Thanksgiving's magic. I'm low, and could use some company, but it's one of life's greatest ironies that the times you feel most lonely are the times you most need to be alone, so maybe it's ok that I live by myself. I miss everyone in St. Augustine most keenly and also most keenly feel the fact that most of the time they don't even remember me.
I used to send emails every Thanksgiving telling the people in my life why I'm thankful for them in their own individual ways, but I just don't have it together enough tonight to do that. Maybe my point tonight is simply that although I am sad and sentimental and feeling that life has lost its sparkle, what's really important is that I love each of you and am thankful for you, each in your own individual ways.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-28 01:52 am (UTC)Happy thanksgiving.
SFG